i'm finally done with my layout. okay, so maybe it isn't as great as i thought it would be when i envisioned it but i figured that i can edit it along the way since right now my muse ran out of me when i wasn't looking and i really wanted to post this up soon. i forgot how nice it is to read a blog when the background is white.

my playlist has finally reached a decent number of 312 and i am proud to say it has countless of genres from the core of punk rock to the acoustic sound of indie, not to mention some of the quirky songs i have which came along with the albums.

one song which i found incredibly disturbing is by the stand-up performer Richard Cheese.

the lyrics goes like this (blanked out due to explicit content):

"you let me violate you
you let me desecrate you
you let me penetrate you
you let me complicate you
help me i broke upon my insides
help me i got no soul to sell
...i wanna fuck you like an animal"
-Closer by Richard Cheese

granted, the song has actually a pretty catchy tune but i was definitely troubled after the first time i heard this song. what troubled me the most was the first time it was played on my playlist (no i didn't listen to this song before that), wonders by wonders i'm sitting next to my mum. there was this momentary panic when i heard the lyrics and i practically scramble for the controller just to change to the next song which thankfully was Michael Johns. (I left my playlist on shuffle mode)

although my mum is generally an open minded person, i'm sure it comes to a certain extent. but then again, who knows? maybe she would have thought it was rather funny since i'm pretty sure the intention of the song is generally directed to humor (albeit, very disturbing).

i'm going to stop posting emo posts soon enough (well according to charmaine, they are), once i change my layout. well in any case:

The Big Read reckons that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books they've printed.

1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you intend to read.
3) Underline the books you LOVE.
4) Reprint this list in your own blogger so we can try and track down these people who've read 6 and force books upon them



1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens -i started this, never finished it.
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller -started this, never finished it.
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley -still waiting to get this book from whoever has it.
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones's Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte's Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

only 8/100 books? i got to start going to the library again. Well in any case, i'm surprised that many of the classic i expected to come out didn't like Frankenstein by Mary Shelly.
hopefully, in ten years time i'll have more bolded tittles.

Labels: book list

"how often we lie in the sound never hearing what in truth may be?"

often, we block out the manifesto in our lives where we ignore that big dread and separate our work to our personal feelings. i suppose this often happens if we are cops where if we don't solve one case, we know it's a dead end and we have to know the difference between being god and being human.

life teaches things all the time as we go off the deep end or making connection in this wide world.

we are so connected and yet we never felt so alone

there comes a time when we are all cowards and facing bravery seems to be a dream that never happens.

the perception of undone is when you feel so frustrated that you feel like giving up. it comes and goes naturally and you stop and think whether you're on the right track. i try to filter those types but it hits me again and again. times when i think i'm so suited for this that i would succeed, yet there are failures where i fail to strive.

i have to stop doing last minute work and i'll bet if i were to look back at my previous post, i reminded myself that about a zillion times.-okay, so that may be an exaggeration but you get the idea.

times of our lives where we 'miss times.' occasionally we get insecure cause of various phrases but we try to put aside from that and look to the brighter even though how many times it becomes harder and harder.

i'm going to be tough.

"a girl who tends to talk to herself more than most"
-zong's resume

heart burning, warmth kindle light.
feathers are fore, momentous night

anger and heat from deep beneath you can sometimes erupt erratically.
i tend to get frustrated when people can be blindingly oblivious.
pay close attention my friend.

tagged by charmaine:

1. At which age do you want to get married?
tough question, but i'll let fate decide.

2. Who is more important to you? Friends or boyfriend?
i have no idea who my boyfriend is, so i suppose friends.

3. Who is/are the person/people you trust most?
my family.

4. Do you think you have enough confidence?
there are ups and downs.

5. What would you do if you saw someone abusing an innocent animal?
defend the animal, what else? it's illegal to abuse one.

6. Do you believe in seeing rainbow after rain?
duh.

7. What is your goal for this year?
i have no current goals, i'm such a boring person.

8. Do you believe in eternity love?
Yes.

9. Have you ever broken someone's heart that he/she tried to commit suicide?
Nope.

10. What feeling do you love most?
happy, definitely happy to the point of ecstatic.

11. If one day your best friend and boyfriend quarrel, who will you side with?
i'll see who is in the wrong and play mediator.

12. List out 12 of your good friends.
you guys know who you are. :)

13. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
of course.

14. Do you like to hang out with friends?
that's a definite.

15. What/Who do you think is/are the most important in your life?
friends and family.

16. If you were on a ship, your mother and your boyfriend (been together for 2 years) were knocked out of the ship, you only have one life float, who would you throw it to?
depends who doesn't know how to swim.

17.If your boyfriend were to two-time you, what would you do?
you wouldn't want to know.

18. If time were to rewind, when will you want it to be?
secondary school dates.

19. Have you felt the true meaning of love?
yes.

20. What do you want to be when you grow up?
someone i'm proud to be.

i tag you.

i hate hospitals.

they are a perpetual nightmare whereby it's cynically depressing. i feel as though everyone would die sooner or later in the stuffy wards and i feel like just shifting everyone out of there. i used to love hospitals though, when i was way younger and thought the food in the hospital was delicious. but when you go in there more times then you should to visit your love ones, you get pretty sick of it and just feel like slamming the doors.

of course, hospitals is not always about death. there's life too. but how many times do you actually go for the sick and not for the new born? i have yet to see a new born and really wish to, i think it would be amazing and maybe then my perception of hospitals will finally change.

some people tend to revert to their old selves and some people still don't change.
i thought we got out of that phase and wish to pass on, but i guess we didn't.
i wish i did, and hoped i did.
don't we all?